Violent fits of plague
violence, not in the sense most obvious
but in long , dull, inevitabilities
certainty in the reemergence of the burrowing thoughts.
They must live at the tip of my spine
waiting to feed on my missteps
to the brain
to the soul
I am holy
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There’s a big downfall to being praised all your life. Being exceptional, mature and well versed …wise beyond your years. Helping others for the simple fact that your presence alone will benefit them. Turning the bad into good. Using your strong influential powers to sway the vote. Walk your walk and talk your talk to set the standard. Used as an example for the exemplary. There’s one big downfall. When they fill your head with pleasantries…it’s way more evident when you realize that you’ve not lived up to the greatness everyone had expected. You can call it narcissism but that’s only to the untrained ear. Leave me to my own thoughts and the fear of never reaching my potential takes over. Nothing is worse than truly believing you can do great and knowing you are doing nothing at all. I know I have things to say, opinions that will make a difference. The diversity OF diversities within me is enough to write a novel . Sing into your soul, pry into the juvenile unconscious just to save it, climb a mountain and carry the world on my shoulders. Those are my dreams, drowning in stagnant waters. But that’s the thing about stagnant waters…they pose no threat. No waves . No fear of capsizing. They are still. Comfortably still. Eerily still. Then there comes that time when you realize you are drowning in your own potential. And it’s painless , slow , dumbing death.
The times when people fade away, and I’m left to entertain myself, is the time when its most evident..that I’m not okay.
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i hate when i wanna vent but the person i wanna vent about is on my facebook AND twitter. Maybe i need real life friends hahahahahahah
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proof of my drunk arm wrestling extravaganza hahaha p.s thats a dude….and I’m a monster
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